Mary Anne Bell Memorial
"One with Vietnam"
Mary Anne was still somewhere out there
Mary anne walked off into the mountains and did not come back
She was dangerous
Afterwards it was never the same
Mary anne walked off into the mountains and did not come back
She had crossed to the other side
Afterwards it was never the same
She was a part of the land
She had crossed to the other side
She stepped into the shadows
She was part of the land
The dirt, the death
She stepped into the shadows
She was dangerous
The dirt, the death
Mary Anne was still somewhere out there
Somewhere Out There
Simon & Garfunkel - I Am A Rock
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island
I've built walls
A fortress steep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain,
I am a rock
I am an island
Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved, I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one, and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
Women's Roles In Vietnam War
Mary Anne's Personal Letters
Dear Mark,
I don’t really know what to even say. I guess I can start off by saying, yes I am still alive, safe and in Vietnam. And I need to tell you this is how it is suppose to be, I never meant to hurt you in any way Mark, but once I got here you need to know that my whole perspective of life changed. I wasn’t that small town girl anymore, I was something that mattered, I was a soldier. Leaving the group was the best decision I have ever made, I couldn’t stay with the greenies anymore I knew how much more was out there to discover and it all became to routine with the men. For the last 6 months I have been traveling around Vietnam and exploring some of the most amazing things from mountains to villages, many of the locals are very welcoming to me even though I am a soldier from the other side, some even offer me food and shelter at times. I came across the soldiers from the other side, several weeks back, I was traveling through the village of Yunnan and woman named Chau invited me into her small home. I spoke very little vietnamese but I could communicate with her in a whole different way. It was like we had this deeper connection and she knew I would do her no harm and was there only on peaceful terms. About an hour after she invited me in two Vietnamese soldiers walked through this door, instantly alarmed they immediately held me at gun point, thankfully Chau stopped them as soon as possible, I couldn’t exactly understand what she was saying to them, but I heard her say “hòa bình” which means peace, so I knew she was on my side. The men spoke little english to me but said I could stay and eat if I didn’t cause any trouble in town and if I handed over my gun, I agreed and gave it to the other gentlemen. Through out the night I caught him giving me dirty looks and threatening stares, but the weirdest thing was I was not scared, I was excited, I wanted to know these men, I wanted to understand them. I wanted to send you this letter to explain something to you Mark, I am no longer in love with you and I want you to move on, because I have. I am still in Yunnan to this day and am falling in love with Chau’s son, Trần, who would believe I’d fall for someone from the otherside. But I can’t help it, they are people just like us, the war means nothing when I am with him. I want you to move on Mark and find someone great for you because you deserve it, I will not be returning home, Vietnam is my home. Goodbye Mark.
Love,
Mary Anne Bell
"Mary Anne wasn't afriad to get her hands bloody. At times, in fact, she seemed fascinated by it. Not the gore so much, but the adrenaline buzz that went with the job, that quick hot rush in your veins when the choppers settled down and you had to do things fast and right" - Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried
It was when Rat looked at her and saw "someone perfectly at peace with herself" they knew she was gone. The look in her eyes was gone form happy and innocent to "utterely flat and indifferernt, her stare had no emotion and no sense of the person behind it. Mary Anne wasn't a small town girl anymore she was a soldier who wore a necklace of human tongues around her throat like a trophy. She said "she sometimes just wanted to eat this place" but it seemed like Vietnam consumed her first.
A Changed Girl
"When I am out there at night, I feek close to my body, I can feel my blood moving, my skin and my fingernails, everything, it's like I'm full of electricity and I'm glwoing in the dark- I'm almost on fire" Tim O'brien - The Things They Carried